Blog #3 -- Prose Essay

Essay:
Fight or flight? A question that only results in an answer when put to the test. In an excerpt from The Beet Queen, Louise Erdrich uses a variety of subtle images to illustrate the effect North Dakota had on two children.

Although close in age, Karl (14 years old) and Mary (11 years old) have very different outward appearances which ultimately show their inner thought processes. Karl is "hunched" over. This shows his lack of a strong, sturdy back bone. He is described as "sweet" and "girlish" indicating, by common perceptions of the time, that he was not set in his decisions and easily scared Mary on the other hand is a "square and practical" child. This characterization shows her as one to think logically and put her emotions aside. Thus, coming from the same place, to the same place, the both still have different reactions.

The North Dakota scenery was developed to show what Karl and Mary saw as they "stumbled" off the train from 1932 Kansas. The images described in this scene describes their mindset when looking forward and their difficulties from the past. The "bare horizon" of North Dakota is their blank canvas, their future that doesn't end in a castle but luckily doesn't end in a castle bu luckily doesn't end in a cliff either. More hope is shown by the "topsoil..newly tilled that it hand't all blown off yet." The topsoil represents their opportunities which could grow here rather than blown away by the Kansas wind.

Because of the different characters developed in the beginning, different reactions are noted throughout the exploration of North Dakota. After little success in finding the butcher shop, the environment has set up a test: how long will they last? Karl,the girly, lofty character sees hope at the first sight of something pleasant. He is enamored by the "film of blossoms" and cannot help but bury "his face in the white petals". The white of the petals is used to symbolize the home he has. The tone of this paragraph is hopeful and joyous. Because of the harsh experience and lack of hope upon arrival, Karl views the first sign as the most precious and valuable sign.

For Mary however, the adversity that Karl saw in the "weather gray" houses and :dogs tied to their porch[es]" had little effect on her. Hence, when she saw the little hope of the "white blossoms", they were insignificant compared to her goal: finding the butcher shop which would soon be her home.

With two varying viewpoints that got off the freight train from Kansas, it only makes sense that the same environment would have two effects: fight and flight. After grasping the little hope from the blossoms, Karl was betrayed by the environment-- by the dog who ran after him, by the tree that would no longer grow, and by the petals that fluttered to the ground after facing the dog. This environment crushed his hope so when told to run, backwards was the only option. Mary, on the other hand, was not made vulnerable by the slightest hope. She saw her future in the home of their Aunt Fritzie. Thus, when told to run, the only practical answer was to run to the awaiting (hopefully) hope. She chose to fight through in hope of a better future whereas he flew away from the cruel and vicious experience.


Reflection:
After reading this prompt, I was a little overwhelmed by the passage. I didn't know exactly how to get the information I needed to talk about how the environment has impacted the two children. Looking back at my essay, I think my analysis was not as superficial as my poetry essay but I still think it is not good enough to be considered "sophisticated analysis". My thesis statement is basically a restatement of the prompt and does not expand on the idea very much. I don't think I referred directly to the literary devices as much as I should have. Looking back, I think I should have discussed the tone shift a lot more directly and used quotes when referring to the white blossoms. In this essay I paraphrased more than I used short quotes. For these reasons, I would give myself a 4 out of 9. For the future, I would like to more directly refer to the literary devices as well as you better quotes more consistently throughout the essay.

Peer Edits:
http://zhangselinaapenglish2016.blogspot.com/
Hey Selina!
I want to start off by saying that I really liked some of the words that you chose to use. It definitely helped build the sophisticated writing aspect. One small thing that I wanted to point out was that you had some abrupt paragraphing that I think could have been condensed together a little bit more to help with the flow of the essay. Overall, I think your analysis was headed in the right direction but would agree with you in that it was superficial. I could see you getting a higher score if you expanded on your analysis with a couple sentences that uses the passage given. I would score you in the 4 or 5 range because the analysis was superficial but there was still some interesting thoughts in your essay. That was a very good essay for a prompt that was rather difficult to understand!

Blog #2 -- Poetry Essay

Essay:
In the poem For that He Looked Not upon Her, George Gascoigne depicts the reasoning behind a man turning down his head for the "blazing eyes" of a woman. He uses a complex attitude, developed by descriptive diction and purposeful form, in order to accurately portray his reasoning.

Gascoigne uses descriptive words that allow the reader to visualize the action. He "holds [his] louring head so low" depicts the way his head hung. By choosing the word "louring" Gascoigne was creating an attitude for the narrator that also reflected on his setting: sixteenth-century England. When he describes the mouse as feeding in "doubt and deep deceit" the word choice is very strong and is emphasized by the fact that it is in alliteration. By including this device he draws attention to that phrase that carries a lot of weight and emphasis on the fact that the mouse is terrorized by the food that betrayed it. By using certain diction and purposeful devices, Gascoigne draws more attention to the examples that he chose.

In the short poem, Gascoigne chose two examples to depict the reason he refrained from looking at a woman. By choosing a mouse who is wary of eating for fear of being trapped again, he draws parallels to his situation by saying that he has been trapped before and is wary of being trapped again. He also equates his wariness of looking into the eyes of the woman as the same as the mouse's wariness of eating-- indicating that he almost sees looking into the woman's eyes as a need. This develops the complex attitude of the narrator by showing multiple aspects to a situation: the desire to get something as well as the wariness of receiving it for fear of getting hurt,

Gascoigne aslo refer to a fly that has been scorched by the flame. By using this example Gasoigne once again draw parallels from fly's situation to his situation by comparing them. Flies travel toward light as a natural instinct as he depicts in the phrase "Which follows fancy dazzled by desire". By including the fly in his poem, Gascoigne believes that he is unable to help his desire to look into the woman's eyes because it is simply a natural instinct. This concept builds on the attitude by emphasizing that he would like to keep his head up but does not want to get hurt again.

The form used in the poem helps to create emphasis on certain points. In the first 12 lines of the poem, Gascoigne creates 3 sets of 4 lines by rhyming alternating lines in the set. This helps create a boundary between 1) his situation, 2) the mouse's situation, and 3) the fly's situation. However, the poem has 14 total lines. The last two lines are indented and rhyme (versus the alternating rhyme seen before). This draws emphasis on the last two lines. Gascoigne uses the last two lines to wrap up the poem by stating his reasoning behind his "louring head". The last two line develop the complex attitude by boldly stating his reasoning of looking down as "your blazing eyes my bale have bred" which both addresses the woman directly as well as directly states that it is because he was in misery. This ultimately adds to the attitude developed by having a bold exit to the poem.

Reflection:
We were tasked with typing a persuasive analysis essay on a poem written by George Gascoigne called "For That He Looked Not upon Her". This was a rather difficult task because other than the prompt, I had no direction of what I should have been writing and what the readers are looking for. For me, the poem was not as difficult to understand but it was harder to write about how the diction and form develops the complex attitude. I do not think my writing was an adequate essay because the analysis was fairly superficial. I did not look look as in depth in the form or diction as I should have. I think my analysis of how the complex attitude was developed by the techniques mentioned. After re-reading my essay, I noticed many errors in grammar, spelling, etc. Because of this, I would mot likely give myself a 4 out of 9 on this essay. In order to improve my writing I would like to learn more about the difference forms and techniques used in poetry so that I can more specifically analyze the form of writing. I also need to practice paying more attention to the detail of the poetry so that I can use that information to help me answer the prompt rather than writing a more superficial analysis. I also need to put more effort into making my analysis persuasive so that the reader can more clearly understand my thought process.

Peer Edits:
http://zhangselinaapenglish2016.blogspot.com/
Hey Selina!
I find your interpretation of the poem to be very interesting! I like the angle that you took in showing him as shamed based on the diction from the poem. I think your analysis was slightly superficial. I would wan't to know some other factors that led you to think that he was shamed and how that concept ties more directly into the two examples he has given. I really enjoyed the way you integrated your quotes into your analysis. That said, I think a couple of your quotes could have been shortened and still addressed the point that you were trying to make. 
Overall I think I would score your essay as either a 6 because you addressed the complex attitude and analyzed it in a way that made sense. Your analysis was a little superficial but the use of quotes helped make it a little more concrete. To improve, I would agree with your plan on more concise writing as well as add that you may want to go a little more in depth with your analysis. 
Good job!

http://jewettmorganapenglish2016.blogspot.com/
Hey Morgan!
You did a good job for the first essay of AP Lit! I really liked a couple things about your essay that I may try to include in mine. I enjoyed the way you talked about the context of the poem and how the speaker was catering to the audience. I think you did a great job of relating his diction to that entire idea. One way to improve that part of your essay would be to try and connect it more to the author's complex attitude. I also liked the way you analyzed specific lines (for imagery) rather than addressing everything as a whole. One way you can improve that part would be to address the fly and the mouse that were part of the poem. 
Overall I think I would give your essay a 5 or 6 because you did address the complex attitude with specific examples and did refer to the text during your analysis. To improve, I would work on making your thesis less formulaic and work on making your analysis more in depth.
Good Job!

Revised Draft:

In "For That He Looked Not upon Her", George Gascoigne reflects on the misery of love. Gascoigne's depiction of a narrator's misery when looking into the "blazing eyes" of a woman battles the inescapable love he feels for her. The imagery the speaker used when comparing the his situation to that of a mouse and fly as well as the way the form is taken advantage of to separate different thoughts displays Gascoigne complex attitude as he struggles between the beauty and misery of love.

Gascoigne separates the essay with various types of shifts in the tone and focus to add nuances to the complex attitude. In the first few lines, the speaker introduces the situation of man who holds his "louring head so low" which exemplifies his diction and imagery. His tone in this beginning section is dejected. He is slightly assertive when choosing the words "You must not wonder, though you think it strange". This makes the way he addresses his focus more direct. However, the dejected tone is more evident when he chooses the word "louring". He also shows this when he says that he does take delight in looking at the "gleams" on her face but must still be hung low. Essentially, in this first section Gascoigne introduces the dilemma of the speaker: he takes desire in looking at her face but also tells her that it should not be strange that he hangs his head low. This introduces the complex attitude in which the speaker has varying opinions to the same person.

The poem then shifts to the mouse and its situation in line 5. Gascoigne uses analogy to draw parallels between the mouse's situation and the speaker's situation ultimately saying that he cannot trust something that he has escaped from just like the mouse cannot trust the bait after it escaped the trap. Gascoigne uses very specific examples and diction to accurately create the image of the mouse and its "trustless bait". The words "trap" and "bait" provide physical descriptions to what he feels in his situation with the women. There is a slight shift of focus in the next two lines from the physical description of the difficulties the mouse faces to his wary and doubtful reaction. The alliteration draw emphasis to certain key phrases such as "doubt of deep deceit" to draw parallels between how the mouse felt after he was betrayed by the food it needs and desires and how the man felt betrayed by the woman he loves and desires. This concept adds to the complex attitude in which the speaker acknowledges that he is naturally attracted to a woman, just as a mouse is attracted to food, but feels betrayed by the need of it, just as the mouse could no longer eat without "doubt of deep deceit."

Gascoigne shifts the focus once more, this tie to the analogy of a fly scorched by the fire. By drawing parallels, the reader sees that the speaker associates himself with the fly and the woman he loves to the fire. This comparison, similar to that of the mouse, also adds to the complex attitude. A fly, by nature, is attracted to light; however, the scorched fly will become be less willing to give in to that natural reaction. Additionally, with the use of parallelism the speaker adds one more nuance to the complex attitude. He associates himself with the "scorched fly", an animal seen as a pest that feeds only on rotten food. Whereas the woman he loves is the flame that the fly yearns to play with, the more lively and beautiful of the two. By adding this nuance, the speaker is adding a lack of self esteem to the speaker's attitude in which he believes that he is beneath the woman he loves and desires. 

In the last major shift, Gascoigne refocuses the essay back onto the speaker. In lines 11-12, the tone shifts to a more assertive, cynical voice. This is built by the use of alliteration with harder sounds such as the "grievous... game" he describes which "follows fancy" and is "dazzled by desire". The cynical aspect is developed through the choice of words. By using generic and abstract concepts, Gascoigne displays the speaker as one who dismisses the entire concept of love as "grievous" and superficial. This develops the complex attitude because the speaker who felt the desire for a woman is now dismissing the entire notion of inevitable desire altogether.

The poem then resolves in the couplet of the sonnet. This resolution is most effective because the diction matches the choices and focus of the first four lines, giving the poem a neat wrap. Unlike the preceding two lines, lines 13-14 are submissive to the inevitable solution to his problem: he must "hold down his head" to the "blazing eyes [his] bale have bred." The blazing eyes once again refer to the parallels of the flame and the woman he loves as a superior being. Gascoigne also takes advantage of the alliteration to soften the consanants. This resulted in a tone that is more willing to accept his fate rather than fight it. This shift in tone from lines 11-12 to 13-14 adds another nuance to the attitude of the speaker. While he is assertive and against the "grievous game" he is also very submissive in lines 13-14. This shows that he feels anger toward the subject, a raw and instinctive emotion, but also feels that he only has one option, a more calculated solution to his dilemma. 

The complex attitude is developed through several nuances throughout the poem but boils down to the conflict between natural emotion and more calculated responses. Whether it is love and misery, hunger and wariness, attraction and caution, or anger and submission, the speaker struggles to decide but in the end chooses the calculated response to fall back on, which is why [she] must not "think it strange" that "[he holds his] louring head so low."

Reflection:
It was very interesting rewriting this essay. After talking through things with my group and working through the Tone Shift Chart, I would say that my understanding of the complex attitude was much better. I like the way the chart was set up because it not only focused on the bigger picture (which is what I was more concerned with when writing my original essay) but also incorporated the techniques and devices very well. I also enjoyed the new way of writing the thesis paragraph because I didn't have to waste time thinking about a clever way to start it. It was very straightforward and made sense. Overall, I think the process definitely helped me focus my attention on certain things when analyzing a poem. I am probably still nervous about actually writing the essay. Because it is an analysis essay I am more inclined to type as I speak which is in shorter more basic sentences without any creative aspects. I believe that this reflects in my writing which seems very dry and choppy because the writing is more bits of information strung together. To work on that, I would need to read more examples of how a high-scoring essay transitions from one idea to another.

Blog #1 -- Multiple Choice Reflection

We completed a portion of a practice multiple choice exam. Before the exam, I predicted that my weaknesses would be in the terminology and various forms of poetry as well as the same crunch for time that I experienced during the AP Language and Composition exam. While taking the test, I realized that I did not know most of the terminology but in many cases it was possible to narrow down to two answers and make an educated guess from there. After looking back at the questions that I missed, I noticed that I missed the questions from the poetry excerpt. I would like to study some of the terminology, especially in poetry, so that I am more confident going into the next practice multiple choice exam.