Essay:
Fight or flight? A question that only results in an answer when put to the test. In an excerpt from The Beet Queen, Louise Erdrich uses a variety of subtle images to illustrate the effect North Dakota had on two children.
Although close in age, Karl (14 years old) and Mary (11 years old) have very different outward appearances which ultimately show their inner thought processes. Karl is "hunched" over. This shows his lack of a strong, sturdy back bone. He is described as "sweet" and "girlish" indicating, by common perceptions of the time, that he was not set in his decisions and easily scared Mary on the other hand is a "square and practical" child. This characterization shows her as one to think logically and put her emotions aside. Thus, coming from the same place, to the same place, the both still have different reactions.
The North Dakota scenery was developed to show what Karl and Mary saw as they "stumbled" off the train from 1932 Kansas. The images described in this scene describes their mindset when looking forward and their difficulties from the past. The "bare horizon" of North Dakota is their blank canvas, their future that doesn't end in a castle but luckily doesn't end in a castle bu luckily doesn't end in a cliff either. More hope is shown by the "topsoil..newly tilled that it hand't all blown off yet." The topsoil represents their opportunities which could grow here rather than blown away by the Kansas wind.
Because of the different characters developed in the beginning, different reactions are noted throughout the exploration of North Dakota. After little success in finding the butcher shop, the environment has set up a test: how long will they last? Karl,the girly, lofty character sees hope at the first sight of something pleasant. He is enamored by the "film of blossoms" and cannot help but bury "his face in the white petals". The white of the petals is used to symbolize the home he has. The tone of this paragraph is hopeful and joyous. Because of the harsh experience and lack of hope upon arrival, Karl views the first sign as the most precious and valuable sign.
For Mary however, the adversity that Karl saw in the "weather gray" houses and :dogs tied to their porch[es]" had little effect on her. Hence, when she saw the little hope of the "white blossoms", they were insignificant compared to her goal: finding the butcher shop which would soon be her home.
With two varying viewpoints that got off the freight train from Kansas, it only makes sense that the same environment would have two effects: fight and flight. After grasping the little hope from the blossoms, Karl was betrayed by the environment-- by the dog who ran after him, by the tree that would no longer grow, and by the petals that fluttered to the ground after facing the dog. This environment crushed his hope so when told to run, backwards was the only option. Mary, on the other hand, was not made vulnerable by the slightest hope. She saw her future in the home of their Aunt Fritzie. Thus, when told to run, the only practical answer was to run to the awaiting (hopefully) hope. She chose to fight through in hope of a better future whereas he flew away from the cruel and vicious experience.
Reflection:
After reading this prompt, I was a little overwhelmed by the passage. I didn't know exactly how to get the information I needed to talk about how the environment has impacted the two children. Looking back at my essay, I think my analysis was not as superficial as my poetry essay but I still think it is not good enough to be considered "sophisticated analysis". My thesis statement is basically a restatement of the prompt and does not expand on the idea very much. I don't think I referred directly to the literary devices as much as I should have. Looking back, I think I should have discussed the tone shift a lot more directly and used quotes when referring to the white blossoms. In this essay I paraphrased more than I used short quotes. For these reasons, I would give myself a 4 out of 9. For the future, I would like to more directly refer to the literary devices as well as you better quotes more consistently throughout the essay.
Peer Edits:
http://zhangselinaapenglish2016.blogspot.com/
Hey Selina!
I want to start off by saying that I really liked some of the words that you chose to use. It definitely helped build the sophisticated writing aspect. One small thing that I wanted to point out was that you had some abrupt paragraphing that I think could have been condensed together a little bit more to help with the flow of the essay. Overall, I think your analysis was headed in the right direction but would agree with you in that it was superficial. I could see you getting a higher score if you expanded on your analysis with a couple sentences that uses the passage given. I would score you in the 4 or 5 range because the analysis was superficial but there was still some interesting thoughts in your essay. That was a very good essay for a prompt that was rather difficult to understand!
Fight or flight? A question that only results in an answer when put to the test. In an excerpt from The Beet Queen, Louise Erdrich uses a variety of subtle images to illustrate the effect North Dakota had on two children.
Although close in age, Karl (14 years old) and Mary (11 years old) have very different outward appearances which ultimately show their inner thought processes. Karl is "hunched" over. This shows his lack of a strong, sturdy back bone. He is described as "sweet" and "girlish" indicating, by common perceptions of the time, that he was not set in his decisions and easily scared Mary on the other hand is a "square and practical" child. This characterization shows her as one to think logically and put her emotions aside. Thus, coming from the same place, to the same place, the both still have different reactions.
The North Dakota scenery was developed to show what Karl and Mary saw as they "stumbled" off the train from 1932 Kansas. The images described in this scene describes their mindset when looking forward and their difficulties from the past. The "bare horizon" of North Dakota is their blank canvas, their future that doesn't end in a castle but luckily doesn't end in a castle bu luckily doesn't end in a cliff either. More hope is shown by the "topsoil..newly tilled that it hand't all blown off yet." The topsoil represents their opportunities which could grow here rather than blown away by the Kansas wind.
Because of the different characters developed in the beginning, different reactions are noted throughout the exploration of North Dakota. After little success in finding the butcher shop, the environment has set up a test: how long will they last? Karl,the girly, lofty character sees hope at the first sight of something pleasant. He is enamored by the "film of blossoms" and cannot help but bury "his face in the white petals". The white of the petals is used to symbolize the home he has. The tone of this paragraph is hopeful and joyous. Because of the harsh experience and lack of hope upon arrival, Karl views the first sign as the most precious and valuable sign.
For Mary however, the adversity that Karl saw in the "weather gray" houses and :dogs tied to their porch[es]" had little effect on her. Hence, when she saw the little hope of the "white blossoms", they were insignificant compared to her goal: finding the butcher shop which would soon be her home.
With two varying viewpoints that got off the freight train from Kansas, it only makes sense that the same environment would have two effects: fight and flight. After grasping the little hope from the blossoms, Karl was betrayed by the environment-- by the dog who ran after him, by the tree that would no longer grow, and by the petals that fluttered to the ground after facing the dog. This environment crushed his hope so when told to run, backwards was the only option. Mary, on the other hand, was not made vulnerable by the slightest hope. She saw her future in the home of their Aunt Fritzie. Thus, when told to run, the only practical answer was to run to the awaiting (hopefully) hope. She chose to fight through in hope of a better future whereas he flew away from the cruel and vicious experience.
Reflection:
After reading this prompt, I was a little overwhelmed by the passage. I didn't know exactly how to get the information I needed to talk about how the environment has impacted the two children. Looking back at my essay, I think my analysis was not as superficial as my poetry essay but I still think it is not good enough to be considered "sophisticated analysis". My thesis statement is basically a restatement of the prompt and does not expand on the idea very much. I don't think I referred directly to the literary devices as much as I should have. Looking back, I think I should have discussed the tone shift a lot more directly and used quotes when referring to the white blossoms. In this essay I paraphrased more than I used short quotes. For these reasons, I would give myself a 4 out of 9. For the future, I would like to more directly refer to the literary devices as well as you better quotes more consistently throughout the essay.
Peer Edits:
http://zhangselinaapenglish2016.blogspot.com/
Hey Selina!
I want to start off by saying that I really liked some of the words that you chose to use. It definitely helped build the sophisticated writing aspect. One small thing that I wanted to point out was that you had some abrupt paragraphing that I think could have been condensed together a little bit more to help with the flow of the essay. Overall, I think your analysis was headed in the right direction but would agree with you in that it was superficial. I could see you getting a higher score if you expanded on your analysis with a couple sentences that uses the passage given. I would score you in the 4 or 5 range because the analysis was superficial but there was still some interesting thoughts in your essay. That was a very good essay for a prompt that was rather difficult to understand!
Divya,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, great job tackling your prose essay. To be honest, I saw more complexity and better analysis that I did with the Poetry Essay. I see you settling into the atmosphere of AP Literature and Composition.
I think you do a great job with comparing and contrasting Mary and Karl, not only against each other but with the environment too. I think you missed the point of the "addition and subtraction" but you definitely made up for it with your complex analysis. I'd like to see this analysis throughout the entire essay. You start off strong and then you slowly die off a little, which is fine, but I'd like to see you endure through the pain of essay writing.
I wish I had your confidence (not). I don't believe you deserve a four, but instead a 5 or maybe even a 6! Great job. Keep up the good work!
Selina